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Thread: Ready for Football Season?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Jamaica Beach
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    Smile Ready for Football Season?

    Ohio State 's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

    Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

    What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.

    How many Michigan State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a sophomore course.

    How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

    Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said," Where?"

    What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise."

    If three Rutgers football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.

    How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend? There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

    What do you get when you put 32 Georgia cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.

    University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

    How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    Why did the Tennessee linebacker steal a police car? He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

    How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
    "Hey Hillary, regarding the Benghazi Attack on 9/11-we'll just blame it on that movie, not my total lack of security. By the way, what's so significant about 9/11 anyway-was that a date my buddy Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground blew up a government building?" asked Obama to Hillary. BEAUTIFY AMERICA, RUN OVER A LIBERAL, THEN BACK UP AND SEE IF HE'S DEAD.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Houston, TX/Bayou Vista, TX
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    Good way to start the morning!

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Angleton, TX, C.S.A.
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    The only thing missing from that list is a few busts on LSU. Y'all come up with some for this morally bankrupt institution.
    From 1970-1997, true heaven on Earth existed on the banks of Bayou Cook. "Hey Dad, Thanks for buying the Camp."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Cypress Texas, United States
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    Good stuff!!
    Mirrolure Pro Staff


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