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So I have a creative writing project I am doing and was wondering if y'all could give feedback to it. I'm not converned with the grammer and wordplay. Instead I want to know about the idea and what you think. I actually don't like it... anyhow... Thanks!
Shattered Reality
It was a dream. The edges of my vision were slightly blurred with that dream-like quality and everyone seemed to be a tad slower than normal…a dream I told myself. I was in the foyer of a large house (my own perhaps?) and staring at the door waiting. The foyer was grand with a high ceiling and crystal chandelier. On the side was a spiral oak staircase with its high gloss and sheen with no smudges or smears. Near the door was a golden picture frame with its bright luster. I could see the living room on the other side with a fur rug and a glass coffee table and matching chair sets. In the corner was a grand piano with lavender candles silently burning, releasing its fragrance. I did not know why I wanted to wait, but it was something more akin to an impulse, something that has been set into my routine. I could hear a car door shut outside and hear children laughing. I was utterly confused at what my dream was about, but I kept it going, simply accepting everything that came out and secretly oozing with curiosity. I was holding onto something in my hand, but it was blurry at the edge of my vision. It was small and red…maybe a rose? I couldn’t tell in the dream. I looked at the picture frame and it slowly came into focus. I could see myself in a suit smiling and with a posture that showed dignity and respect. Beside me were 3 other people. Their faces were maddingly pixilated but I could tell that one was a woman, and the other two were children. I wanted to see the picture but my thoughts were disturbed by the rattle of the door. I became tense as the sound of keys rattled at the front door. The children were still laughing outside, but were even closer. I could hear a sweet voice, one of a mother telling her children to wash their hands when they come inside. It was, to me, a moment of truth and revelation. Time slowed to a stuttered crawl as the door swung open. A breeze gently pushed it as a striking women entered. The two children, a boy and a girl, ran past like lightning, their afterimages burned into my eyes. I could hear them yell, “Hi Daddy!” but I didn’t take my eye off the woman. She was breathtaking. She had a light complexion with dark eyes and dark hair. She was walking towards me with open arms. I was beyond confused, but I felt that this dream had meaning to it. My mind was telling me something. I walked up and embraced her. I could feel a tears welling up in my eyes and closed them. I was happy. The embrace lasted what seemed like eternity. Whatever I was holding was crushed between our two bodies in the embrace. It was a wondrous feeling. I felt that I could keep holding this forever. Then I felt a sharp pain in my back. I opened my eyes to feel a knife being pulled out of my back. I collapsed on the floor in a pool of my own blood. The knife went all the way through my body and I could see blood spreading across my chest and dripping from my shirt. I looked up at the woman and she was smiling as she was before. I was writhing in pain on the ground trying to comprehend what was happening but to no avail. Then everything went backwards in sequence but with a twist. The home I was in started dissembling brick by brick. The breeze outside became a torrential shriek that deafened me. Essentially, the whole house was being destroyed before my eyes. As the woman walked backwards in slow motion with the children, I instinctively reached out for them with my blood stained hand but a wave of intense pain from the wound forced my hand back to apply pressure. The children blurred past me still laughing and even over the shrieking wind, I could hear their laughter. The door closed behind them with a thunderous roar. The pain was intense now as I continued to stay conscience. The house started dissolving in a black wind. I could hear thoughts of anguish and depression. I could taste defeat and despair. I could see around me lies and deceit. All I could feel was pain. I no longer had the strength to look at the door and laid my head down, staring at the swirling black sky above. The pain was becoming even more intense and my eyes were battling to stay open. My breathing became shallower and shallower. I gave a final cough and the depressing image around me became blurred and finally shut…. …I awoke with a start in my own bedroom. I was in a cold sweat and shivering. The blankets were on the floor and in my disoriented state, took a while to find them. Pulling the blanket over me I realized my eyes were puffy, like after crying for a period of time. I also realized that the dream was telling me something. And there was only one thing to do about it.
It was a dream. The edges of my vision were slightly blurred with that dream-like quality and everyone seemed to be a tad slower than normal…a dream I told myself. I was in the foyer of a large house (my own perhaps?) and staring at the door waiting. The foyer was grand with a high ceiling and crystal chandelier. On the side was a spiral oak staircase with its high gloss and sheen with no smudges or smears. Near the door was a golden picture frame with its bright luster. I could see the living room on the other side with a fur rug and a glass coffee table and matching chair sets. In the corner was a grand piano with lavender candles silently burning, releasing its fragrance. I did not know why I wanted to wait, but it was something more akin to an impulse, something that has been set into my routine. I could hear a car door shut outside and hear children laughing. I was utterly confused at what my dream was about, but I kept it going, simply accepting everything that came out and secretly oozing with curiosity. I was holding onto something in my hand, but it was blurry at the edge of my vision. It was small and red…maybe a rose? I couldn’t tell in the dream. I looked at the picture frame and it slowly came into focus. I could see myself in a suit smiling and with a posture that showed dignity and respect. Beside me were 3 other people. Their faces were maddingly pixilated but I could tell that one was a woman, and the other two were children. I wanted to see the picture but my thoughts were disturbed by the rattle of the door. I became tense as the sound of keys rattled at the front door. The children were still laughing outside, but were even closer. I could hear a sweet voice, one of a mother telling her children to wash their hands when they come inside. It was, to me, a moment of truth and revelation. Time slowed to a stuttered crawl as the door swung open. A breeze gently pushed it as a striking women entered. The two children, a boy and a girl, ran past like lightning, their afterimages burned into my eyes. I could hear them yell, “Hi Daddy!” but I didn’t take my eye off the woman. She was breathtaking. She had a light complexion with dark eyes and dark hair. She was walking towards me with open arms. I was beyond confused, but I felt that this dream had meaning to it. My mind was telling me something. I walked up and embraced her. I could feel a tears welling up in my eyes and closed them. I was happy. The embrace lasted what seemed like eternity. Whatever I was holding was crushed between our two bodies in the embrace. It was a wondrous feeling. I felt that I could keep holding this forever. Then I felt a sharp pain in my back. I opened my eyes to feel a knife being pulled out of my back. I collapsed on the floor in a pool of my own blood. The knife went all the way through my body and I could see blood spreading across my chest and dripping from my shirt. I looked up at the woman and she was smiling as she was before. I was writhing in pain on the ground trying to comprehend what was happening but to no avail. Then everything went backwards in sequence but with a twist. The home I was in started dissembling brick by brick. The breeze outside became a torrential shriek that deafened me. Essentially, the whole house was being destroyed before my eyes. As the woman walked backwards in slow motion with the children, I instinctively reached out for them with my blood stained hand but a wave of intense pain from the wound forced my hand back to apply pressure. The children blurred past me still laughing and even over the shrieking wind, I could hear their laughter. The door closed behind them with a thunderous roar. The pain was intense now as I continued to stay conscience. The house started dissolving in a black wind. I could hear thoughts of anguish and depression. I could taste defeat and despair. I could see around me lies and deceit. All I could feel was pain. I no longer had the strength to look at the door and laid my head down, staring at the swirling black sky above. The pain was becoming even more intense and my eyes were battling to stay open. My breathing became shallower and shallower. I gave a final cough and the depressing image around me became blurred and finally shut…. …I awoke with a start in my own bedroom. I was in a cold sweat and shivering. The blankets were on the floor and in my disoriented state, took a while to find them. Pulling the blanket over me I realized my eyes were puffy, like after crying for a period of time. I also realized that the dream was telling me something. And there was only one thing to do about it.
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